Respect the teacher!! Understand?

Teen: Teachers must show respect to students if they want it in return

I disagree with Mr Kevin Wong Zi Hao's comments in his letter to The Straits Times Forum page, 'Back teachers who act on unruly students' (Sept 3).

Being a 15-year-old student, I would like to offer another side of the story - the student's point of view.

I agree that some students are rowdy, unruly and show disrespect to their teachers.
However, I wonder if teachers have ever reflected on the root of the problem: Why are students showing disrespect?

Some of my peers show disrespect to a teacher because the teacher does not understand their needs. Some teachers even speak in a rude manner to students first.

Recently, one of my friends took nuggets to eat during a lesson, even though she knew she was breaking school rules.

After talking to her, I found out that she had no choice but to eat in class because she had lessons continuously from 10am until 3pm, and had no time for lunch.

Before the lesson started, she had rushed to the canteen to buy snacks to eat during the lesson, which fell during lunch time.

However, she was chased out of the class because of this.

I tried to negotiate with the teacher on her behalf, but to no avail.

Shouldn't the teacher have found out the reason why she brought the food in, instead of dismissing her as a rebellious teenager who simply wants to break rules?

I felt that the teacher could have shown some flexibility in this situation. After all, a teacher should be someone who cares for a student's welfare.

While it is demoralising for a teacher to deal with unruly students, it was equally demoralising to be the student in this case.

In my primary school, when the teacher returned our exam papers, we were faced with lectures that could last up to an hour. They would scold us for being lazy - any praise was hard to come by. Even a score of 80 per cent was not good enough.

Most times, we had stayed up till past midnight to finish that project or to prepare for that test.
So, I feel that students' efforts these days are rarely acknowledged.

While some teachers expect students to empathise with how they feel, we students also expect teachers to empathise with us.

To me, respect is never one-way. It goes two-way. If teachers expect respect from students, they should start by showing respect to students.

Woo Jia Qian (Miss)

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Here's some of the comments left on the disscussion board on ST Forum by the readers. (In blue)

• "I believe this is a simple matter , if the student had shown little respect to "breaking school rules which she knows" it would have been reciprocrated with flexibility which you are asking for."

Nah. Given the fact the teacher threw the student out of the class even after Miss Woo had tired to explain to her the circumstances surrounding that incident, i doubt the student would have been allowed to remain in the class if prior permission to eat in class was sought. Otherwise the teacher was plain petty, throwing the student out just because prior permission was not sought and did not feel that a student ought not to be deprived of the chance to have lunch.

• "Wow... negotiate with the teacher. Sounds like a very harsh approach. I wonder what kind of respect are we talking here."

A respect that a student has the right to both eating lunch and attending lessons? You mean just because of a silly rule, a student can only choose between eating lunch or attending a lesson?

• "Yes, respect is two-way. But so far, in the cases of unruly students, respect has been one-way: from the teacher to the students, not from the students to the teacher."

Is eating in class because you have been deprived of lunch unruly? Perhaps asian values stipulates that eating in class in front of a teacher is indeed unruly. Then again asian values used to promote inequality of the sexes. Aren't women in Singapore an unruly lot nowadays? Or are the men in Singapore an unruly lot for failing to control their wives?

• "The students already know that the no-eating rule is in place. It is therefore the responsibility of the students to approach the teacher for a waiver of the rule before blatantly flouting it. Otherwise, it is an invitation for action against her no matter her mitigating reasons."

I guess rules must be followed no matter how draconian or silly they are. Like rules that you need permission from the police before you can investigate a minister. Have fun following such rules :)

• "There are alot of things to learn in school before you could even deserve the respect. You may think it is cool to be vocal but i felt that your letter is one-dimensional and lack a substantial argument."

So if one is not well-learn in school, one does not deserve respect?

• "when my staff told me to earn their respects, I said," sorry, my rank/position is higher than you" so please respect me and i'll hear your story/views...so that we can work this out... will someone tells their managing director to earn their respect before ihe/she starts work - (rubbish).just a lame excuse when one says earn the respect..."

I dunno what to make of this one seriously.

• "A good teacher is a teacher who has a golden heart but rules with an iron fist.Though I'm pro-democracy and libertarian, I must stress that the classroom is not a democracy. Taxpayers paid for your education (if you are in a public school), not you. Teachers must rule hard, but rule kindly in order to be respected."

I guess you just like to be slaved around by an iron fisted ruler.

• "What are the consequences if I break a traffic offence of parking to buy lunch just because I had no time to do so from 10am to 3pm? Well, what did the traffic warden do to earn my respect for me to want to pay up the fine?"

What a big fat logical fallacy. Traffic rules serve a purpose and that is to keep the roads safe. A "n0-eating-in-class-rule" serves to keep students hungry when they have no time for a proper lunch? As long as the student eats quietly and not disrupt the class, I don't see any purpose for being so uptight about such a rule.

• "My generation had teachers who misunderstood me all my life, but my peers and I just endured. The end-result: We became tougher people who take hard knocks in life after school much better.... :) "

Yeah. You should stare at an Ah Beng and get yourself beaten silly. Then you can learn to take hard knocks in life, albeit literally. Don't stop the Ah Beng from hitting you. Don't report him to the police. You will become a tougher person because of this, after the good beating.

And among all the replies posted on the discussion board, here's the champion of the lot:

Ms Woo,

As someone who has eaten more salt than you have rice so to speak, being a graduate student in a very liberal department of a very laidback university, and with all due respect, please allow me a point-by-point rebuttal to your letter.

Let me take it in reverse order:

"If teachers expect respect from students, they should start by showing respect to students."

Excuse me, but as a student, I do not expect my professors to "start by showing respect to [me]". I start by respecting them, honoring their expertise and time, and effort in teaching me, bec quite honestly, I need them more than they will ever need me. They are professionals who can undertake any kind of work in their field without necessarily having to teach me to eke out a living so to speak.

So you think it is alright that after paying your school fees, your professers have a right to refuse to teach you "to eke out a living"? Wierd!

If I were to ever take the position that others (esp those in a superior position) have to respect me first before I will honor them, then I may have been schooled, but not quite educated, for I would not have learnt what it means to be educated. An educated person quite naturally respects her peers, and more so her teachers, regardless, bec they're first and foremost people with intrinsic worth, independent of their behavior and/or skill, then professionals in their own right.

Hello? Isn't it more of Miss Woo highlighting the disrespect accorded to her classmate. I don't think Miss Woo is really demanding that teachers unconditionally give respect to their students. All she wants is that teachers not treat students with disrespect.

I believe in Singapore schools, the idea that we can and do learn from our peers has been way underestimated. If we start by respecting our peers, there is nothing stopping us from respecting our teachers.

As pointed out above.

I also agree that our reticent culture in Singapore almost puts the teacher who is openly lavish with her praise of her students' achievements as somebody who is at least a bit weird, unfortunately. This is true in the other Asian (and even Western) cultures I have experienced, to one degree or another. It is unfortunate, but why should you build your sense of well-being on what you perceive to be someone else's shortcoming? It is not worth it.

Agreed that sense of well-being should be based on the opinion of others. But it doesn't hurt the teacher to adopt a more encouraging attitude towards students.

"In my primary school, when the teacher returned our exam papers, we were faced with lectures that could last up to an hour. They would scold us for being lazy - any praise was hard to come by. Even a score of 80 per cent was not good enough. Most times, we had stayed up till past midnight to finish that project or to prepare for that test. So, I feel that students' efforts these days are rarely acknowledged. While some teachers expect students to empathise with how they feel, we students also expect teachers to empathise with us."

Ms Woo, I'm sure you aren't the only one, but why do you make it sound like you are studying for your teachers? You are doing it for yourself - if you make it, you make it for yourself; if you break it, you do so for yourself. If you make it, so many people will be proud of you! But they're only your cheerleaders, your life is still yours to lead, and own.

She is just highlighting the tendency for teachers to treat students with contempt, very relevant in the context of her letter. You are missing that point altogether.

It matters not whether you score 80 or 100 or 50 or 2 percent, the point is, did you do your best? If you did, you did it for yourself, good for you! If you didn't...well, you know how to complete that line. Those around you can say positive or negative things to you, but you yourself decide whether you want to be encouraged, discouraged or unmoved by them.

You will soon learn that in life, you are probably your best supporter - or otherwise - most of the times. I think one popular saying goes thus: "Sticks and needles may hurt me, but I shall never let words hurt me." If you have given your best shot at that time, then words won't hurt you, bec you choose not to let them. If you allow them to, then you need to re-examine your own self-esteem. This is true even when I read what you had written earlier about expecting others to respect you first before you will do them the honor.

Finally beginning to make sense.

"I tried to negotiate with the teacher on her behalf, but to no avail. Shouldn't the teacher have found out the reason why she brought the food in, instead of dismissing her as a rebellious teenager who simply wants to break rules? I felt that the teacher could have shown some flexibility in this situation. After all, a teacher should be someone who cares for a student's welfare. While it is demoralising for a teacher to deal with unruly students, it was equally demoralising to be the student in this case."

As other posters have mentioned, it is not for you to negotiate with your (friend's) teacher. On what ground? Please understand that in the classroom, the teacher is the boss. Please also understand that teachers are human beings, and human beings are prone to partiality. If your friend had first sought permission from the teacher (not merely informed her, mind you), on the basis that she respects the teacher's authority, then chances are, she would have given the teacher that bit of flexibility to exercise her discretion.

You people sure like to play the authority game. Just because the teacher has the authority to forbid a student from eating in class doesn't make it right. Nor is it logical blindly yield to authority, especially if it is the wrong thing to do. It's strange that people think that submitting to authority is more important than filling one's stomach. A person, if severely starved, might even resort to cannibalism. Talk about following some silly rule.

I could imagine the teacher giving her a bit of time to have her lunch in the canteen, if the school prohibits food from being consumed in the classroom, and she would have exercised her discretion without breaking any rule and thereby sending her students (and administrators) the wrong message.

Still blindly following the rules.

"I wonder if teachers have ever reflected on the root of the problem: Why are students showing disrespect? Some of my peers show disrespect to a teacher because the teacher does not understand their needs. Some teachers even speak in a rude manner to students first."

Many good teachers are reflective teachers, who constantly seek to improve their pedagogical and subject, as well as interpersonal, skills. You should not try to taint or withhold your respect of teachers with one broad brush over one mere incident you have cited.

Finally, I would urge you to take this experience as a lesson to ponder, and understand how to become a student who commands the respect of her teachers, and when you grow up, a member of society who commands the respect of her peers, her colleagues, and most of all, her family.

True, respect is a two-way street, but I would encourage you to (learn to) earn it first.

Still missing the point that Miss Woo was lamenting the disrespect accorded by the teacher.

I am a teacher too."

Is that an appeal to authority?

I guess the messages posted in reply to Miss Woo's letter exemplifies the typical mindset of a Singaporean.

1) RESPECT TO AUTHORITY IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

2) RULES MUST BE FOLLOWED AT ALL TIMES. NO EXCEPTIONS ALLOWED

3) IT IS ALRIGHT FOR STUDENTS TO GO WITHOUT FOOD.

Perhaps a sad reflection of the political situation in Singapore.