10 simple steps to protect homosexuals from verbal abuse

To all homosexuals out there: Are you sick of being discriminated by homophobes? Sick of being labelled as a threat to society, a paedophile, a zoophile or a necrophile? Sick of the law that hangs over your head, threatening you with imprisonment? Fear no more! IMBS will teach you how to get around that in 10 simple steps. Yes, just 10 simple steps. Comes with a 30-day money back guarantee!

So without further ado, IMBS will demonstrate to you how to protect yourself from any verbal attacks, discrimination and perhaps even repeal S377A once and for all. Then again, IMBS still wonders how come the whole lot of you failed to see this easy method of solving your problems.

Step 1: Form a support group. Let's call it XXX for the time being

Step 2: Have members of XXX gather every Saturday for social events

Step 3: During such gatherings, sit orderly in rows, close your eyes and hope that all the hatred against you will disappear from this world. (This is called TAR)

Step 4: Before you open your eyes, shout out loud the phrase "Stop hating us!"

Step 5: After opening your eyes, go pass around a container to collect some coins in order to consolidate financial power

Step 6: After collect enough money, go buy a piece of land and build a fancy building as the venue for future gatherings

Step 7: Write a book that contains the codes of conduct for the members of XXX

Step 8: In that book, invent a character, well call him gaylord or something, that plays the role of your invisible best friend.

Step 9: Worship that fellow

Step 10: Rename your group as "Faith of Homosexology" (Inspired by the Church of Scientology)

VIOLA! You have a new religion. And now, all you need to do is to use the law to your advantage. This is because IMBS found out a secret from Zuco's blog. There is a new clause added to the penal code that says

"298. Whoever, with deliberate intention of wounding the religious or racial feelings of any person, utters any word or makes any sound in the hearing of that person, or makes any gesture in the sight of that person, or places any object in the sight of that person, or causes any matter however represented to be seen or heard by that person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both."

By now, I'm sure you get the hang of it. So learn something from the lawyers for once. Apart from sucking your money dry, they do actually have something useful to teach you. Just kidding! :)

Virology news: Discovery of new virus

A new virus has been discovered recently. Information on the pathogenesis, epidemiology, clinical signs and control/treatment is as follows:

Family: Rhabdoviridae

Genus: Lyssavirus

Virus still unnamed. Suggestions for name of virus is welcome.

Pathogenesis: Following infection via optical and auditory routes, the virus localises in the optic and/or cochlear nerve(s) before retroaxonal transport moves the virus to the CNS via cranial nerves II and/or VIII. Subsequently the virus localises in the prefrontal cortex of the frontal lobe, occipital and temporal lobes before replicating, damaging the neurons in the process. Secondary haematogenous spread occurs with transient viraemia before infecting the salivary glands.

Clinical Signs: Following damage to the prefrontal cortex, occipital and temporal lobes, the affected patient manifests signs associated with damage to those areas of the brain such as irrationality, auditory and visual hallucinations with frequent indulgence in delusional thinking . Excessive incoherent speech is a typical sign which is one of the primary means of virus excretion via saliva. Loosely associated with lower IQ. Other clinical signs included suicidal tendencies (especially by means of explosives), homophobia, realitophobia, necrophobia, excessive hypocrisy and imposing their views on others.

Epidemiology: Strangely, this virus only affect humans, as opposed to the closely related Rabies Virus which can affect all homeothermic animals. Is found in all continents but serotype distribution is mainly determined by geographic location. Currently, sertypes C and I are the most common serotypes. Epidemic in USA and western Asia and endemic in most other countries in the world. Japan and China are relatively free of infection. Humans are the only transmission host and excrete high titres of virus in saliva. The virus is extremely resistant to dessication and is most commonly found in formites such as books. Vertical transmission is an important route of transmission.

Control and treatment: Currently, the only vaccine available is a live-attenuated vaccine marketed as ScientiVac. Post-infection treatment is by injection hyper-immune serum with varying degrees of success. Difficult to treat as infected patients tend to refuse treatment and may turn hostile. Strangely in infected patients, the immune system does not respond with no antibodies produced even though antibody is protective. This suggests an in vivo mechanism that suppresses the adaptive immune system.