Friday, November 2, 2007

10 simple steps to protect homosexuals from verbal abuse

To all homosexuals out there: Are you sick of being discriminated by homophobes? Sick of being labelled as a threat to society, a paedophile, a zoophile or a necrophile? Sick of the law that hangs over your head, threatening you with imprisonment? Fear no more! IMBS will teach you how to get around that in 10 simple steps. Yes, just 10 simple steps. Comes with a 30-day money back guarantee!

So without further ado, IMBS will demonstrate to you how to protect yourself from any verbal attacks, discrimination and perhaps even repeal S377A once and for all. Then again, IMBS still wonders how come the whole lot of you failed to see this easy method of solving your problems.

Step 1: Form a support group. Let's call it XXX for the time being

Step 2: Have members of XXX gather every Saturday for social events

Step 3: During such gatherings, sit orderly in rows, close your eyes and hope that all the hatred against you will disappear from this world. (This is called TAR)

Step 4: Before you open your eyes, shout out loud the phrase "Stop hating us!"

Step 5: After opening your eyes, go pass around a container to collect some coins in order to consolidate financial power

Step 6: After collect enough money, go buy a piece of land and build a fancy building as the venue for future gatherings

Step 7: Write a book that contains the codes of conduct for the members of XXX

Step 8: In that book, invent a character, well call him gaylord or something, that plays the role of your invisible best friend.

Step 9: Worship that fellow

Step 10: Rename your group as "Faith of Homosexology" (Inspired by the Church of Scientology)

VIOLA! You have a new religion. And now, all you need to do is to use the law to your advantage. This is because IMBS found out a secret from Zuco's blog. There is a new clause added to the penal code that says

"298. Whoever, with deliberate intention of wounding the religious or racial feelings of any person, utters any word or makes any sound in the hearing of that person, or makes any gesture in the sight of that person, or places any object in the sight of that person, or causes any matter however represented to be seen or heard by that person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both."

By now, I'm sure you get the hang of it. So learn something from the lawyers for once. Apart from sucking your money dry, they do actually have something useful to teach you. Just kidding! :)

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